I’m coming to the realization that I am a boring person. It’s not easy to admit this, but I think it’s officially true. I’m only writing this because I just sent Paul a desperate e-mail explaining to him just how boring I am.
My mind is busy. I’ve been thinking about a lot of great things. I feel good; energized, chipper and upbeat. I want to write about some of the interesting things I’ve been learning in classes, but I never seem to articulate them well enough. I can’t really say that I don’t have time to write. It just never seems to come out right. Even this post seems self-indulgent and ranty to me.
And yet, I feel like I’ve entered an emotional rut. I get overwhelmed easily. In order to keep this from happening, I minimize activities and socializing, so that my head doesn’t explode. It’s a tough balance. I’m trying to be intentional. I’m trying to slow down and get away from my computer.
I’m trying to find a balance of what’s expected, what’s right and what I’m capable of. I’m trying to find balance in a world where things move fast and unfiltered.
I’m trying to feel safe in a world that is overwrought with consumption.
But the culture we live in makes it so difficult.
With everything we have, opportunities, technology… I feel aimless A LOT. I read an article that discusses how Millennials are unable to fend for themselves. This quote struck a chord with me:
“…the shift to broad changes in parenting styles and teaching methods, in response to the growing belief that children should always feel good about themselves, no matter what. As the years have passed, efforts to boost self-esteem—and to decouple it from performance—have become widespread. These efforts have succeeded in making today’s youth more confident and individualistic. But that may not benefit them in adulthood, particularly in this economic environment. Twenge writes that “self-esteem without basis encourages laziness rather than hard work,” and that “the ability to persevere and keep going” is “a much better predictor of life outcomes than self-esteem.” She worries that many young people might be inclined to simply give up in this job market. “You’d think if people are more individualistic, they’d be more independent,” she told me. “But it’s not really true. There’s an element of entitlement—they expect people to figure things out for them.”
I worry that I’m lazy when I don’t have things to do. I worry that I’m not taking care of myself when I’m really busy. I can’t really help the culture/methods in which I was raised.
The article goes on:
“…a combination of entitlement and highly structured childhood has resulted in a lack of independence and entrepreneurialism in many 20-somethings. They’re used to checklists, he says, and “don’t excel at leadership or independent problem solving.” Alsop interviewed dozens of employers for his book, and concluded that unlike previous generations, Millennials, as a group, “need almost constant direction” in the workplace. “Many flounder without precise guidelines but thrive in structured situations that provide clearly defined rules.”
Here’s the question I am now almost always asking myself, “What am I supposed to do with this information?!” I like the so-called self-esteem movement. I think people would have a lot fewer problems if they were allowed to like themselves, be interdependent and admit it when they’re having trouble coping.
Should I be fighting against this culture or moving along with the tide? Should I accept who I am, strengths and weaknesses? Should I be more assertive? Should I try to be better? Or are these questions just another product of being raised in a time when children have been given a significant amount of guidance?
So just a few minutes ago I called a local honey bee keeper and asked her if I could join one of her hives. Not as a bee, of course (although that would be sweet), but to learn about organic bee keeping. If this isn’t a hipster-millennial cry for help, I don’t know what is.
We’ll see what happens with this. Hopefully this is how Sarah will get her buzz back.